February 11, 2015
Betches love blacking out, but as a betch ages—an undesirable but equally unavoidable part of life, even for betches emerges—she has to limit her blacking out to a couple times a week, if that. Reducing the amount of times per week you go out is something every betch will resist as long as she can. But there are signs you need to retire from your life of partying—or at least go into Leslie Knope’s version of retirement, aka cutting it down to like once a week.
Here are some signs you are a retired party betch (not to be confused with the UGH because you still go out when you can and you still do fun shit):