As we all know, women aren’t the only guilty ones when it comes to social media faux pas. Just because guys aren’t posting cleavage thirst trap pics doesn’t mean they get a free pass at using the internet. Any woman who has even casually used a dating app knows that the shit bros pull online is not only annoying AF, but flat-out embarrassing. Much like IRL, online bros can either be gentlemen or fuckboys, and it’s very difficult you’re going to get until you’re receiving 500 unsolicited pictures of his dick. Here’s a list of shit we hate that guys do online. All we need to do now is figure out who the manager of the internet is so we can talk to them and get this shit to stop.
1. Commenting Something Wayyy Too Inappropriate On A Picture
We’ve all seen the comment from a bro who may have spent too much time chatting with porn bots to remember how normal people talk. He’ll write something like “I’d let you sit on my face” or “Turn around so I can see that ass” on an innocent picture of you at your graduation. Basically he’s training to become creepy uncle in 10 years. Gross. Just gross.
2. Calling Out Your Cleavage
For some reason, men often feel a need to say “boobs” when they see boobs. It’s like a Pavlovian response or something. Yes, sometimes boobs show up in pictures. Half the world’s population has boobs. Yet men online feel like if they don’t say they’re seeing boobs, the boobs might disappear. Just stop calling out the boobs, it’s just uncomfortable for everyone.
3. Commenting On Instagram Models’ Photos
That’s like if we were tweeting at Justin Bieber or Ryan Gosling all day. Even if those Instagram thots models were real, which half them aren’t, do you really think they’re going to see your comment? Like, what is your end game with commenting “beautiful” on Sveta from Romania’s boudoir photos? It’s just embarrassing for everyone.
4. Being Friends With Porn Bots
You can always tell which bros you know are fucking idiots by seeing who your mutual friends are when a spam bot tries to add you. The bot is always a clearly fake photo of some airbrushed/half-silicone model, and all the mutual friends are the dudes who are too dumb to realize a professional model wouldn’t want to talk to them. Then these people show up in your “People You May Know” section and you have to pause for a moment and try to remember if you struck up any friendships with a Russian hooker lately.
5. Harassing Women For Attention
Most Twitter trolls are probably men, because if a betch didn’t like you, she’d just tell you to your face and proceed cutting you out of your life instead of hiding behind some internet avatar and hacking your computer or whatever. Dudes that harass women online are just trying to get them to say something back because they’re sad and lonely. That’s why, when you encounter a troll, the best thing to do is block immediately and go back to your significantly better life.
6. Announce They Are Feminist
If you’re a feminist for the likes, you’re probably not a feminist. Like, there is no need for you to make a status about respecting women. Just go out and respect women. Announcing why people should think you’re a good person is usually the wrong way to become a good person, and I think we all know “feminist” dudes who turn out to be just regular old fuckboys once you really get to know them. I’m looking at you, Justin Trudeau. (But I sincerely hope I’m wrong. For once.)
7. Three Words: Shirtless. Gym. Pics.
We know how long it takes to get a perfect body selfie, trust us. If you’re taking a selfie at the gym, you probably spent a majority of your workout looking for the right filter. You cannot fool women, sir. We know exactly how long it takes to get a gym pic with good lighting. You can’t trick us.
8. Starting A Fight In Your Comment Section
Anytime a guy starts a comment with “Actually…” you know shit is about to get crazy. He’ll likely go on to explain something that had nothing to do with the original post, and your notifications start going crazy. Then when you forget you’re not supposed to feed the trolls and actually engage with him, he ends it all with “I’m glad we can have a good conversation!” and you realize he just wanted someone to talk to all along. Grow a pair and just talk like a human, dude.
9. Insulting You, Then Asking You Out
He goes from calling you ugly to asking for your number. Negging doesn’t even work in real life, and they’re trying to do it online now. Thank god for the block button. The reverse is just as bad, BTW. You know, the “Hey girl, how you doin’? Fuck you ugly fat bitch, I never wanted you anyway!”
10. Posting A Pic With A Puppy For Likes
The puppy picture of a bro is the equivalent of the bikini pic for the betch. We admit you look adorable with the puppy, but it’s a thirst trap worse than our beach pics. It’s like the bros are trying to show off how capable of love they are. And it works, every time. On second thought, maybe don’t stop doing this one. Just proceed with caution when you see it happening.
Which type of fuckboy should you date based on your zodiac sign? Find out here!
