Just because you broke up with your ex doesn’t mean it has to be over. You might have made a mistake breaking up with him, because let’s face it, nobody’s perfect—especially not you. If you find yourself wanting your ex back, it’s probably a sign he wants you back too. You should definitely let him know how you feel, because he’ll probably feel the same way. There’s so many ways to tell him, and we think you should try all of them. What do you have to lose? Nothing. Not even your dignity. You’re nothing without a man, so go get your man back!
1. Make a Spotify playlist that takes him through the story of your relationship. Starting from “I Knew You Were Trouble” by Taylor Swift and ending with “Against All Odds” by Mariah Carey. Send it to him via email with the note “This made me think of us.” He’ll see from the 142 songs you handpicked that you spent time thinking about him, which will force him to think about you, or at least think about how you spent all that time thinking about him.
2. Post an enigmatic status on Facebook like “Thinking of warm Rio nights and wishing your arms were still around me” so he’ll see it and remember how you went on that luxurious trip to Rio together. He’ll be flattered all your friends know you’re missing him, because even if you didn’t call him out by name they all know who you’re talking about.
3. Post a #TBT photo of the two of you with the caption “wish we could go back to the way it was”. Making it to the #TBT is a high honor and he’ll feel lucky to have been included in this weekly ritual. Maybe he’ll even text you asking for a copy of the pic! You would text him but he blocked your number so you don’t have it anymore.
4. Walk by his work around lunchtime everyday until you “accidentally” bump into him. Then when he asks you what you’re doing there, just tell him you had an interview in his building. The thought that you might work near him will ignite the sparks in his heart again. He’ll be fantasizing about an office romance with you and won’t even wonder what an art major would be doing in a financial building in Wall Street.
5. Give him a custom calendar out of printed out screenshots from your text convos with him. Make sure you circle the important dates in the calendar such as “first kiss”, “first blowjob”, “that time you left me in a Whole Foods because you told me I was too needy” so he can reminisce on the good memories you had together while also knowing exactly what day it is.
6. Get him something way too expensive for his birthday like a laptop computer or Hamilton tickets. Some people say exes shouldn’t be friends, but then who would you spend all your money buying birthday presents for? Don’t just get him a small gift because he might misunderstand and think you’re trying to be friendly. Make sure the gift is so expensive it will make his parents feel uncomfortable if they found out. Also, the more of a necessity the gift is, the better. So you know he has to use it. And he’ll think about you every time he puts that Canada Goose on.
7. Comment on all his photos with the emojis with the heart eyes and like all the compliments he gets from other people. But only the girls. This will send the message to the other girls that you’re the leader of his comment section, and if they try to flirt with him you’ll be watching. He’ll see you doing this and think it’s sweet you’re protecting him from all the fake bitches following him.
8. Tag him in posts that are vaguely related to him. If you see a cute video of puppies swimming for the first time, tag him in it so he knows you thought of him. If it’s an inspirational quote about how you should never give up, tag him in it because he’ll think it’s sweet you want him to be inspired. Basically, any chance you get to tag him in something you think he might like, do it. He’ll appreciate you’re thinking about him so much.
9. Ask him for help writing your Tinder profile. Naturally, he knows you the best since he’s the last person that dated you. Ask him to help you pick the best pictures and write your bio. He’ll realize as he’s doing so that you’re a great catch and ask you to get back together with him in no time. If he doesn’t, you can tell him you’ll help him with his profile and sneak a peek into his DM’s to see if he’s dating someone prettier than you.
10. Call his mom regularly to catch up. His mom loves you, because who doesn’t? Just because you’re broken up doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends with Carol. It’s not weird that you’ve been shopping with her the last four Saturdays since you broke up with her son. You know that she talks to your ex even more than you do, so if she likes you then chances are high that she’ll mention you to him. He’ll see how well you two get along as a sign that he should give your relationship another chance.
11. Write a song about him that goes platinum. If you write a hit song that’s so popular it’s playing in Duane Reades, he’ll never be able to escape it. He’ll hear it on the radio while he’s driving and realize that you’re not over him. Then, when you accept your Grammy award for the number 1 platinum song you wrote about him, wink at the camera and say “It’s not over, it was never over”. His heart will melt and he’ll be yours forever.
