12 of the Most Ridiculous Shit Sold on Your Fave Websites

By The Betches

Online shopping is crack to a betch. And like a good drug dealer, designers sometimes lace it with shit. Surprise! Three to five business days later, and you’re the proud owner of a gold sequined plastic pair of clogs. We rounded up the ugliest shit to FB message your online shopping obsessed besties just to see if you can really get them to wear it out this weekend.

1. Free People Denim Jumpsuit - 6pm.com

Who knew that the style influence of the show ‘Breaking Amish’ was so strong? It actually makes complete sense when you think that these people have no access to the Internet. Basically, all their style advice comes from, like, reading crop circles or some shit.

Click to see some more pics of this getup you'll really want to

2. Rick Owens Sculpted Sneaker - Farfetch

Rick Owens new target demographic: your grandma in need of orthopedic shoes. NEVER CATCH GRANNY SLIPPIN’.

Find out here how much these cost. It's ridic. 


3. Marco Bologna multi pattern blouse - Farfetch


The guy’s last name is the most disgusting sandwich meat ever and that’s not even the worst part about this. But really, this is the sleaziest fucking shirt that has ever existed. How many times do you think Chris Brown tried to phone order one of these from jail? Mr. Bologna had to accept the collect call (Thank you, Orange Is The New Black) from his only customer. These clothes ain’t loyal.

Click here to see what this actually looks ON.

4. Lanvin Ruffled Satin Dress - Net-a-porter

Remember that scene in What A Girl Wants where they put her in the ruffle dress and pre-psycho Amanda Bynes reworks it? This was the before dress. Modern day psychotic Bynes is sketching this very look at FIDM right now.

Just wait till you see the diff angles of this frock.

5. Comme des Garcons hounds tooth multi bow jacket - Barneys

Lolz. I could be stranded in fucking Antarctica, and it will still never be cold enough for me to wear this. This looks like you gave your coat to coat check and it ate all the other coats. Natural selection, bitches.

Click for a close up, it's all in the details.

6. 3.1 Phillip Lim Oversized Chambray Shirt and Shorts - Shopbop

Don’t get me wrong I love looking sickly skinny and a good ribcage as much as the next betch, but this has taken the “needs medical attention” look way too far.
Not pictured: IV pole

I literally can't.

7. Prada Tail Light Flame Sandal - Nordstrom

Fun fact: Danica Patrick’s driving shoe. 

The angle from the front is even better. 

8. Prada Hourglass Sport Sandal - Nordstrom

R.E.I. for Prada. Pull a 127 Hours to your leg if this shoe is on your foot.

Don't worry these are 60% off now, but guess how much they were before.

9. Unif Bong Jons - Nastygal

The bitch that buys this is so fucking annoying, I literally can’t. You’re not hippie, different, cool, dgaf. You’re disgusting and hope the onesie hides your skinny/fat oblong pale body.

Personally, I think the Panda slippers are stealing the onesie's thunder. You decide.

10. Nile Backpack Cote and Ciel - Revolve Clothing

Useful for two things: (1) becoming a human periscope or (2) becoming the Grim Reaper and filling the backpack with souls. Thanks, Cote & Ciel, now I’ll no longer have to wait those first five minutes in a conversation for someone to feel out that I’m creepy and strange.

Watch how this $325 dollar backpack unfolds... 

11. Textile Federation All-Seeing Eye Legging - Urban Outfitters

No one tell Nic Cage that everything he’s been searching for in his National Treasure movies are hanging in his local Urban Outfitters. Nic Cage faces his most treacherous opponent yet: hipsters, and girls that think silver Birkenstocks are cool. The Illuminati is alive and thriving.

For your own sake, click to see the details.

12. 3.1 Phillip Lim Sleeveless Colorblock Fringe Tunic - Scoop NYC

JEE-SUS Walks. The only time you should be wearing a tunic is if you ACTUALLY have the ability to turn water into wine. Yes, please.

Here's how to wear it, in case you were wondering, which you definitely were.




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