Betches Love This Movie: Friends With Benefits

By The Betches

August 9, 2011


Dylan: "Why do women think the only way to get a man to do what they want is to manipulate him?"


Jamie: "History, personal experience, romantic comedies, ... Betches Love This Site."

So, let's talk about Friends With Benefits #50 Guy Friends. One would think that that this was a seriously betchy movie given the cast, the age range, and the open discussion of sex, guy friends, and VIPs. However, there was something about it that made us feel really uncomfortable. Like the guy who makes your iced coffee but looks at you with what can only be his creepy sex smile. We're not sure what it was about this movie, but it's probably Justin Timberlake.



mila and justinWould have been more convincing if there was a twist ending like, "Surprise, I'm gay!"


We don't know who keeps giving JT the memo that he can act but the success of "Dirty Pop" in no way qualifies him to grace the silver screen whenever he fucking feels like it. He's fucking annoying, and we've come to the conclusion that HE is where the movie took a wrong turn.

Oh yeah, and the fact that there was a movie with the exact storyline released four months ago. Whoops. It's like, were Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman such #25 arch nemeses on the set of Black Swan that Mila couldn't have texted Natalie at some point - "scored starring role in movie about fucking a guy but not being in a relationship." Someone should've figured this shit out. Talk about miscommunication.

Anyway, let's move on to the actual movie. While it does prove our point that guy friends don't exist, the fact that they would even pretend that Mila Kunis" character would ever be interested in this weird relationship with Justin where they have sex but he never takes her to dinner is fucking ridiculous. Once she decided he was acceptable to befriend (fuck), she would've been in love with him in like 30 seconds flat.

Also, her "I"m so adorably clumsy and chill" routine got old back around Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Ugh, we're nauseous just thinking about it.


milaLook at me I'm so cute I can pull off this stupid fucking flower in my hair.


Hollywood has to stop mindlessly dramatizing this "I"m like, so fucked up, I can't have a normal relationship" bullshit because it just was peripheral fluff in this movie. "My dad's sick, my mom's a whore, blah blah fucking blah. I have commitment problems.

That being said, we'll admit there were definitely some funny lines in the script and we enjoyed Mila learning her lesson when she failed to #8 not fuck bros too soon, even if he was a pro doctor.

We also loved that Andy Samberg had a cameo in this shit. Honestly, we might have been much happier watching him walking around the offices of GQ moping about his dad's Alzheimers than the fucking queen of pop, JT.

Oh and Emma Stone was hysterical. All five of her lines were LOL. We love nothing more than making fun of John Mayer and the fact that "Your Body Is a Wonderland" brings nice girls to tears.

So if you haven't seen Friends With Benefits, you should check it out, because it's decent and frankly there isn't enough weed in the world to get us to sit through Winnie the Pooh.








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