August 31, 2015
The 2015 VMAs literally fucked our shit up. This was one of the most bizarre live television events we've watched in years. We literally had no idea what was going on at any given moment, but felt extremely uncomfortable the whole time. I don't know if it's Miley Cyrus almost peeing herself on national television as Nicki Minaj threatened to sit on her or Miley's very staged nipplegate incident that takes second place to the next presidential canidate Kanye West's hour long speech, which truly stole the show. If I wanted to hear a crazy person rant for 20 minutes I'd just skip my Uber and take the subway home, tbh.
It kind of felt like the MTV producers had either staged literally everything or lost complete control by the end of the night. Luckily, the award show was so bad it was actually good and you know MTV will be replaying this every day for the rest of our lives instead of yet another Teen Wolf/Mom marathon.
All this, and we've barely touched on the insanity the red carpet had to offer. We've broken down the wildest looks from the world's most insane people. Now excuse me, I'm taking the rest of the week off to recover from this shitshow.
"Nice wig, Kylie, what's it made out of? Your mom's chest hair?" The Balmain's on point but EVERYTHING else seems a little fake.
#FiringSquadGoals. You know none of them are real friends, though, because they let Taylor Swift wear that.
Despite the fact that her obsession with food really weirds me out, Chrissy Teigen knows her way around an award show. Remember when she cried at the Golden Globes and took away all the attention from her husband's big on-stage moment? She's basically doing that again, but this time with a see-through dress instead of an awkz cry face. So betchy of her.
Britney Spears just wandered in.... In Vegas, the audience is still waiting for the second half of her performance.
Nicki Minaj, as dressed by her pastor.
No clue on how to pronounce this chick's name, but love that she looks bored AF.
Even Kim Kardashian's nipples are trying to get out of this very, very awkward situation.
Wow, Bey and Ri looked so incredible last night.
Rare footage of Gigi getting her tan before the VMAs.
All the real young kids are wearing backwards red hats. Here's Tyga trying to act Kylie's age.
T. Swift's other bitch, Karlie Kloss, looked really gorge from the ankle up, but for some insane reason decided to say "nah" to heels. WTF? I know you're 6 foot 4, but come on. This isn't an instagram post disguised as a summer BBQ with Tay and the clan. Can you, like, at least try?
How has matching denim-on-denim become the go-to outfit for VMA couples?
Patrick Schwarzenegger is out there somewhere and he's so relieved.
The last time someone wore this much leather, Ashley Madison sponsored the event.
The night was so fucking crazy, I didn't even remember this thirsty cry for attention.
Brooklyn Bechkam was super betchy on the red carpet because he's only 16 and looked better than everyone. If I don't have a chic son like this one day, I'll be pissed.