2017 Election Day Results Explained Betches

Yesterday's Elections Were Literally The First Good Thing To Happen All Year

By Betch Bader Ginsburg

Guess who’s back, back again. Dems are back. Tell a friend. If you forgot that there were some v. important elections yesterday and neglected to perform your civic duty (seriously? You had one job...), here are the results. Elections were held in 33 states yesterday, but the major ones that had everyone holding their breath were the races for governor in Virginia and New Jersey. And, drumroll please…the Democratic nominees swept in both states!! Somewhere, a relieved Hillary Clinton is silently thanking the woodland tree spirits she has been praying to in the hopes that the world will soon restore itself to relative normalcy.



 

What went down in VA?

Virgina’s win went to former Democratic Lt. Gov Ralph Northam, which is a pretty clear signal that VA is still not here for any of Trump’s bullshit and intends to keep it that way. Virginians can’t stand Trump (gee, wonder why) and demonstrated how completely fucking done they were by making sure Northam not only defeated Republican nom Ed Gillespie, but absolutely crushed him. VA is also a swing state – and the only Southern state that went to Hillary last year - so electing Northam is a huge plus for Democrats when it comes to future elections. This win for the Dems is literally all Trump’s fault (as is every shitty thing that has happened in 2017 IMO), so I’m sure ol’ Twitter-Fingers will have a lot of feelings to waste his new 280 characters on. Oh wait, he already did.

Another badass victory in Virginia went to Democrat Danica Roem, who won a seat in the Virginia House of Delegates, ousting the Republican incumbent, and one of the most anti-LGBT politicians in America, Robert G. Marshall (the one behind the fucked up bathroom bill *cough* asshole). Oh, and Roem now just so happens to be the first openly transgender person to be elected to and serve in a state legislature. Revenge is a dish best served fierce. 

Gym, Tan, Democracy?

The Democratic nom in New Jersey, Phil Murphy, also took the W, snatching the seat away from Chris Christie’s Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno. Man, you cause one little traffic jam, and also sit on a beach you close to the public one time, and also support Trump, and…alright, yeah, Christie was a POS and after 8 years of nonsense, NJ Dems are RECLAMING THEIR TIME.

Why does this even matter?

This is actually a pretty BFD for the Dems when it comes to future elections. The diverse roster of elected officials and strong Democratic lean in multiple states proved that the majority of sane Americans are rightfully horrified by the way things have been going under Trump’s reign of terror so far, and want to gtfo his crazy train as soon as humanly possible. It’s looking like there’s a decent chance I won’t spend Election Night 2020 the way I spent 2016’s – crying into my beer and writing an overdramatic FB post aboutlosing all faith in humanity. Maybe we’ll even get an impeachment before then. Or maybe even…

Hey, a girl can dream.

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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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