Real World Roundup: Keeping Up With Pseudo News

By The Betches

So anyone with a few thousand bucks can own a Chanel bag, but the betch who buys Coco Chanel's $50 million dollar house on the French Riviera? Well, they're definitely not occupying shit. See the chateau for yourself.

Fuck you David Guetta is famous....and it's his party....and he'll demand a glitter machine and sparkles and a Disney princess if he wants to. Read about the bare minimum DGuetta needs for survival.


nick minaj vogueAvatar 2: Return of the Blue Dye


Drew Barrymore MIGHT be knocked up. This is by far her biggest party foul since she was 13 and went to rehab for coke. Read article.

WARNING: You might want to make sure there are no children around before clicking this. It's a nice girl, Katherine Heigl with NO makeup. Jesus Izzy you're a celeb. No excuses, play like a betch. Click here to vom with ease.

Okay, we like you but between this and your Grammy exorcism shit you're turning into a big fucking freak. Chill with the colors Nicki. This is Vogue, not fucking Avatar. Click to see Nicki as a smurf.

We have heels that are higher than this 22 inch world's shortest man. Can you imagine the case of TDS this bro has to have to get fucked? I mean realistically if you're 22 inches tall it's probably hard to have a nine inch penis. Sure he's 72 but we're sure Chelsea could easily find a spot for him on Chuy's lap. Look at this little munch.


adele middle finger


So apparently a nerdy Facebook picture means you'll probably have a good job. Yeah no shit, it's because you're probably a nice girl and do a lot of work. You know what your profile picture probably also predicts? The fact that you're a 25 year old virgin with a steady paycheck. Read article.

Jen Aniston finally gets a star on the Walk of Fame. Turns out all she had to do was trade her unused ovaries for a career! Time to add that to your profile! Read article.

Was Whitney a les? Did SAB Bobby Brown turn her off from the Peen forever that she had to bat for the other team with Robyn Crawford? Seems like in this case there's one Robyn who forgot to call her girlfriend. Read article.

Former Betch of the Week Adele gives the finger on British national TV because her acceptance speech was cut off. I mean, everyone needs to chill it's not even like she dropped the F bomb. Do you KNOW who she is!? Watch out BRIT Awards, fuck with this betch and you'll be the next ones with an angry hit song written about you. See Adele's middle finger here.





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