July 13, 2015
Oh, the beauty of modern technology. We’ve all heard our parents and grandparents complain about our generation’s obsession with our technology (well, we barely heard it because we were too busy looking at Snapchat stories.) We’ll be the first ones to admit it—we’re obsessed. Our heads are looking down at our phones all day, and why shouldn’t they be? Who would actually interact with humans if we have the choice not to? Nowadays, there’s an app for everything. Some might even say that apps make us lazier. But we say they make us betchier. So, for the days where you can’t bother to get out of bed, order a coffee, or actually talk to people around you, here are some apps that will do all that hard work for you.
Any betch who lives in a big city cares about three people: her doorman, her dealer, and her Uber driver. The thought of taking public transportation in 6-inch heels makes you cringe, and a girl’s got to get places. Uber picks you up and drops you off wherever you are, letting you get to any party as late as you want and be picked up the moment they run out of alcohol. Sorry—would love to stay and chat but my driver’s outside. So rude of me to keep him waiting!
You’re halfway through a Bachelorette episode and a bottle of Merlot, and three quarters done with anything edible in your apartment. The fix here is obvious. Who actually has the time to go into a restaurant, order food, wait for it, and then go home to eat? Seamless lets you pick whatever you’re in the mood for and then just press a button. Craving froyo? Sushi? Done. The most work you’ll have to put in is buzzing the delivery guy into your building. And you can do that during a commercial break.
As betches, we have so many important things to worry about, and sometimes the little things in life get too annoying to deal with. That’s where Task Rabbit comes in. Whether you forgot to buy your mom flowers for mother’s day, can’t wait in line for a sample sale, or just feel like booking a waxing appointment, simple tasks just get done for you, no matter how simple they are. The anxiety of reserving a front row bike at Soulcycle was getting too stressful anyway.
You’re getting ready to go out for the night and realize your last tube of mascara is as empty as the Upper East Side on Fourth of July weekend. Should I run out to Sephora? Ha. Here’s where Postmates comes in. Postmates is the only way to get anything delivered anymore. Running out of basic necessities is a thing of the past. Whether you need toothpaste from the drug store or to return your friend's top that you borrowed last weekend, deliveries are brought from place to place at a faster pace than your metabolism. Carry on with living your betchy life.