January 29, 2015
Since we've all seen our fair share of romantic comedies, we're familiar with the idea of a marriage pact. Usually two people who are totally not "just friends" vow to get together if neither of them are married by a certain age. It's sad, but I guess nice girls need love, too. Well, in a move of pure desperation that we haven't seen the likes of since Michael Scott, a woman in Texas said fuck it to the traditional marriage pact and decided to just marry herself.
For her 40th birthday, Yasmin Eleby threw herself a one woman wedding, presumably because her regular table at TGIFridays was booked. This wasn't a casual "walk myself down to city hall," situation. No, Eleby planned a full on fucking wedding, complete with 10 bridesmaids and karaoke. Because marrying yourself isn't actually legal (and makes zero sense), the ceremony was spiritual and officiated by her sister. Like, we're all for self-empowerment and being the center of attention, but this woman essentially had a 40-year-old version of a sweet sixteen and just forgot to call MTV. She even bought herself a solo multi-country honeymoon, which most people just call a vacation.
Better idea, if you're not married by 40, throw yourself an elaborate event with all of your friends in attendance where you are the center of attention and even get to wear a tiara. And then call it what it fucking is: a birthday party.