In the throes of Fall, there's a lot of great shit to be doing on the weekend. For example, I could be taking cliche pictures in a pumpkin patch/corn field/hay ride with my friends. I could be eating pumpkin flavored anything or drinking hard apple cider. I could be tailgating. What I don't want to be doing is sitting on a couch, indoors, watching football.
Tailgating has it's merits and I don't mind watching a football game in person, but Sunday after Sunday of watching others partake in the couch-sitting and gut-growing beer guzzling has me wanting to deflate all the balls in the NFL so there's something interesting to talk about during the game. Also, any chance to picture Tom Brady and balls together is an opportunity I'm going to take.
Here's a list of pretty horrible things I'd actually rather be doing than watching football on Sunday.