Betches have high standards because we are a high standard. Unfortunately this means that finding a relationship can sometimes be tough, especially if we’re not trying to get wifed up immediately but still want to have a date for formal. Recently the princess of Japan had to give up her royal status in order to marry a commoner, and we assume she did it for love and not because she was being blackmailed or whatever. But this brings us to the question of what’s considered settling when you get in a relationship? If you’re a true betch, you’ll never let your heart settle, but here’s what you should and shouldn’t settle on in a relationship.
1. Money
You want to date a rich bro because money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you diamonds, and unlike happiness, diamonds are forever. You can, however, settle when it comes to how much money he makes on certain conditions. He should make at least as much as you do, but if he’s not a six fig earning Wolf of Wall Street, that’s okay. Because you’re going to date a lot of rich bros in your casual dating days, so when it comes to a serious relationship it won’t matter that much. As long as he’s ambitious and has direction about his career, if he’s not making that much (yet), you should still date him. Besides, you’re an independent woman making your own cash, so as long as he puts thought into your Christmas gift, the size of his end of year bonus doesn’t really matter. But if he’s expecting you to go dutch before you hit 6 months, do not settle. He should know the value of long term investment, aka investing in your relationship because you’re a catch.
2. Attraction
This is like when you see a King of Queens couple in real life where the woman is clearly hotter than the dude and you wonder, why TF are they together? As Beyoncé and Jay Z have taught us, though, sometimes it’s not about looks—sometimes it’s about being the most powerful couple in the music industry. You should never settle for how you feel about the guy (or girl, obv) because you can lose everything but you’ll still have that. You might think he’s nice and stable and want to make it work, but if you don’t want to jump his bones every time you think about him, you are going to waste your time. Just look at Melania Trump, do you think it was worth it?
3. Sex
You’ll literally find yourself willing to settle in every other department if the sex is good enough, which is an indication that you should look for everything else when it comes to a relationship before following your pussy. You don’t need great sex for a good relationship, you just need good sex. You can disagree with us, but the truth is the longer you’ve known someone, the better the sex will get. So even if he’s inexperienced, once you hit the “I love you” marker, you’ll realize you’re a lot more into him than when you first started dating. Don’t settle for bad sex, obviously, but if he’s trying and is just a little clueless, help him out. But if he’s selfish in bed and only knows how to jackhammer away at your cervix and doesn’t even ask you if you came afterwards, cut him loose like the hair you only cut two times a year.
4. Distance
If for some reason your relationship goes long distance, this is a bridge that most people can’t make it across. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, but if you’re going to go for it, he better be fucking Prince Charming. Basically if there’s any question about whether or not you’re going to go to each other’s houses for Thanksgiving this year, you are not going to make it through a long distance relationship. Settle on distance if he’s the best guy you’ve ever met, otherwise you know what they say: There are plenty of mediocre dicks in your city.
5. Personality
So you meet a hot bro with a good job, good background, good everything except for one small thing. He’s boring. He’s like a James Marsden in… every movie James Marsden has been in. If he’s hot and dumb, you’re going to get annoyed with him really fast. But on the other hand, he probably won’t cheat on you because he’s so boring. You can def settle on this, but he has to be actually hot and you can’t be trying to marry him. And then you better get ready to have a lot of girls nights because you’re going to need some better conversation than what he gives you.
6. How They Treat You
This should be a no brainer, but the Kardashians, The Bachelor, and literally every other reality TV show have honestly made us confused. Why TF would you stay with a bro that doesn’t treat you like a queen? Never settle when it comes to how he treats you. He can be a 6’3″ sex god with a private jet, but if he tries to play mind games with you or ever lays a hand on you, you gotta get out of there. Sorry, but there will be no settling when it comes to treating you well. That shit is free, so no excuses.
