July 22, 2015
Every magazine you pick up features lists that claim to hold the secret to reinventing yourself. It’s all bullshit. Every naïve nicegirl out there will still spend her money (that should be spent on something more sensible, like a nose job) on the rag that promises her that she CAN become the person she wants to be if she travels to more “culturally rich” places, eats kale, and deletes her ex on Snapchat.
Well, fucking duh, you would be a better person if you did all of the above, but you still wouldn’t be a betch, so you may as well keep buying Baked by Melissa and pretending you’re not a delusional serial dater.
Here’s how to reinvent yourself, the right way. Read on and put the money you were going to spend on The Secret or some other bullshit towards your next SoulCycle class. We both know which one you need more.