There are so many bullshit products on the market that promise to clear up your skin overnight, but let’s be real: what you put in your body has so much more power. If you’ve struggled with skin breakouts in the past aka are human and have tried everything out there, you might want to consider your diet as the culprit. Sorry for sounding like your mom, but it’s true. You could drink three liters of water a day and wash your face incessantly, but still be eating shit that is making you break out. These 7 foods make you break out, so avoid them like the plague fuckboys.
1. Candy
In case you needed another reason to stop stuffing your face with candy like a 7-year-old, here it is. Sugar isn’t only bad for your heart health and insulin levels, but it could also be causing you to break out. When you eat refined sugar, your insulin levels spike, which causes your body to undergo a burst of inflammation, which doesn’t exactly sound like a cleanse. This inflammation produces enzymes that break down collagen and elastin in your skin and are likely to cause pimples and wrinkles as time goes on. We could bore you with more science, but you get the point. You thought your mom was just fat-shaming you as a preteen when she told you chocolate was giving you pimples, but she actually wasn’t. (Damn it, mom. Can I live?) Put down the Snickers.
2. Dairy Products
Sorry to break it to you, but like, fucking duh. Most people in the world already know that dairy can cause breakouts, but in case you don’t, here’s your reminder. Dairy is a pro-inflammatory ingredient, which means it will negatively affect your joints, digestion, and yes, your skin. It’s also usually packed with hormones and sugar, which doesn’t help. A little bit of milk or cheese here and there won’t kill you, but if you’re prone to breakouts, I’d stay away from the froyo for now. The 16 Handles workers are starting to know your name, and it’s getting a little sad.
3. Tofu
You probably thought you were being super healthy by getting tofu in your Sweetgreen salad and saying no to croutons, but it turns out soy isn’t actually that good for you, and it could be making your face look like a literal minefield. There have been a ton of studies done about soy and skin quality, and it’s hard to say if it really makes you break out, but we know for sure that too much of it fucks with your hormones, which can definitely lead to some sketchy shit. Try limiting your soy intake and see if you can notice a difference in your skin. That means no soy lattes, but also no milk lattes, so I guess that leaves almond milk? K. If you don’t notice any difference after you rule out soy, knock yourself out with that miso sesame tofu shit. Just stop telling everyone about how you’re “trying out being a vegetarian.”
4. White Wine
Someone once made up that a glass of wine has a substantial amount of antioxidants in it, so we were all pumped to keep filling our glasses until someone told us otherwise. As it turns out, our alcoholic bubble has officially been burst, because a new scientific study is showing that white wine is actually sabotaging your skin. There’s this skin disease called rosacea where your skin turns red and causes acne-like breakouts and just overall not-cuteness, and apparently white wine could be the culprit. I mean, we don’t want to believe it, but the study was published in the Journal of American Dermatology, so we kind of have to. *cries into my oversized wine glass*
5. Cereal
Even if you’re buying cereals that are low in sugar, cereal is still a very processed food, which is known to make your skin seek revenge by fucking up your life. If you’re looking for the clearest skin possible, avoid processed snacks as much as you can, even if they’re branded as “healthy” (which, tbh, they probs aren’t). Most “healthy” cereals are paying millions for good marketing, so don’t give in to that bullshit. As your middle school health teacher told you countless times, read the label. If you can’t understand the ingredients, it can’t be doing anything good for you. Instead, go for eggs, fruit, vegetables, and whole grains like a normal fucking adult. Whole Wheat Quaker Squares don’t count. Honestly if you’re not a first grader or a poor college student or perpetually high, why are you eating cereal in the first place?
6. Bottled Water
SAY IT ISN’T SO. First they came for our white wine and now this? Scientists might be purposefully trying to annihilate the betch demographic. It’s a conspiracy, I say! Anywho, betches never have a shortage of beverages on hand, but we might need to be reconsidering the three liter Smart Water we down everyday thinking it’s helping our skin. Staying hydrated is obviously good for you, but most plastic water bottles contain BPA, which is a steroid analogue that could fuck with your hormones. Not only is plastic terrible for the environment, but it could actually be causing those zits that cropped up on your face right before your best friend’s wedding. Just another reason to invest in an overpriced S’well water bottle, I guess.
7. Fast Food
This one should be obvious, but then again, the obesity rate in this country is higher than ever and health organizations are in a fucking panic over American food choices, so maybe if the fact that it’s literally going to kill you isn’t enough of a reason to stop eating this crap, telling you it’s making your face look bad will do the trick. Fast food is literally the worst thing you can put in your body, and fucking obviously all that grease from the ten pounds of oil in your order of french fries will make you break out. If you’re blackout at 3am and decide to order the deluxe happy meal, be my guest, but don’t cry when the next day your face looks as ratchet as your life choices and you start trying out every face mask in Sephora to save yourself. Just skip the fried food. Your sober self will thank you.
