August 13, 2015
Bros suck at texting. It’s no secret. Unless you are texting a guy who is either gay, desperately trying to escape the friend zone, or your dad, then frustration is guaranteed.
The ultimate rule is that if there is sexual tension (or you wish there would be) with the bro you are texting, you will get pissed off and dream of a time when guys wrote romantic letters to girls. In reality, if a guy ever wrote a romantic letter to you, you would put him on the backburner faster than you can say "stalker."
Here are the things bros do over text that make us question if the male gender is biologically challenged in some capacity.
You’re talking about something funny that happened at the office today and what your plans for dinner are tonight. He only answers the first one. How TF am I supposed to know if I should starve myself all day or eat a granola bar for lunch?
Did you actually graduate high school or are you some pre-teen weirdo pretending to be 21 years old? LMK. If you use the eggplant emoji, you will be blocked.
IDGAF about seeing your face if you don’t let me know if you’re coming to the pregame with me tonight. Get your priorities straight.
We’re not talking anything excessive (we wouldn’t answer a batshit crazy drunk betch either) but I’m clearly trying to plan my sleeping arrangements for the night and a response would be appreciated, fuck boy.
This is worse than no text at all. We’ll probably google the score and respond, “yeah what a game.”
My social calendar is already packed so if you’re not being straightforward, I’m not interested.
I already took my make up and bra off...Bye Felicia.
Read: Hi, Hey, What’s up, nmu, etc. I’ll just go fuck myself at this point. Really thought we left this kind of conversation behind, but guess there always exceptions when it comes to dumb AF bros.