July 5, 2011
Our Betch of the Week this week goes to one of the most iconic betches in history. Elizabeth Taylor. Known for her beauty (including violet eyes, how betchy is that!), fashion, and movies, she is someone any true betch can and should aspire to be like.
Elizabeth was married eight times and was obviously very good at #8 not fucking bros.
"I've only slept with men I've been married to. How many women can make that claim?"
Her other betchy qualities include #2 not keeping up with the news.
"I really don't remember much about Cleopatra. There were a lot of other things going on."
And of course, #1 talking shit.
"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
We honor Elizabeth Taylor's memory and are impressed that even in her last days she still remained true to her betch persona, proving you don't have to be young and hot to be a betch, you just have to have once been.
At her request, the funeral began 15 minutes after it was scheduled to begin; as her representative told the media "she even wanted to be late for her own funeral."
Elizabetch Taylor ran shit.