September 6, 2011
This week’s Betch of the Week is taking the world by storm…literally. Now normally, we don’t #2 follow the news, but when it involves something that could potentially fuck up our hair, suddenly we’re paying attention.
Introducing the betch who proves that moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty, Hurricane Irene.
We know, Irene is usually a name for librarians and annoying people, and what the Chinese deliveryman calls your mom instead of "Ilene". However, like former Betch of the Week Regina George, Irene is turning that name on its head and showing us that you can be fierce even if you were given a nice girl name.
Irene is coming to town and you better fucking bet that means your plans come second. Like any hard partying, violent #7 BSCB, she doesn’t give a shit what you’re doing. Drop your plans, now you’re dealing with her. You should really be scared though because Irene has the entire east coast on her #25 WYDEL and she’s in a bad fucking mood.
Irene is about to tear shit up as she makes her way from the Bahamas to New York (a trip every NY betch has taken at least once in her life), and if you thought that stupid earthquake was bad, Irene’s about to show us what happens when another bitch tries to steal your thunder.
You better believe she’ll be ruining any chance you have of #27 tanning this weekend. Irene is a jealous pasty betch and she does not take well to competing with others. You think Irene gives two shits that were supposed to go to Jason’s 22nd birthday pool party this weekend, or that it’s like, the fucking MLK walk?
So east coast betches, beware of Irene this weekend. Someone must have hooked up with her boyfriend or something because the betch is pissed off and there isn’t enough Xanax in all of CVS to sedate her.