Betch of the Week: Rachel Zoe

By The Betches

This week’s betch of the week is notable for amazing fashion sense and her ability to make her way to the ripe age of 40 without doing any work and just #77 shopping all day.

If that isn’t betchy enough, here are some more reasons while Rachel is betch of the week.

After graduating GW with bullshit degrees in sociology and psychology, and having some fake jobs at a few magazines, Zoe managed to somehow become the ultimate celebrity stylist, with her own reality TV show “The Rachel Zoe Project” with absolutely no formal fashion training. Now Zoe makes her own shit like handbags and accessories. It’s like she never even had to make a resume. Lucky betch.

rachel zoe

This fall she’s coming out with her own clothing line that she’s turning into a lifestyle brand. What’s the lifestyle exactly? Be naturally skinny and everyone will forget you have no experience or training? Okay, we’re down.

She literally dresses the betchiest actresses in Hollywood. Be it Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, Mischa Barton or Demi Moore. She's so hot she has even hotter women asking for her advice.

She teamed up with Nicole Richie to popularize the ‘boho chic’ look which consists of wearing oversized jewelry, loose fitting dresses, and an anorexic body.

Rachel is awesome because she has our ideal job. She gets to run around shopping all day wearing #60 sunglasses with #54 iced coffee glued to her hand.

Let’s talk about her personal life. She married Rodger Berman, her #52 gay bff who is also weirdly a title="62. Pros">#62 pro. He worships the ground she walks on and showers her with presents, and is also the best shopping partner a girl could ask for. She found the perfect guy to #8 not have sex with.

Oh wait but then she got pregnant. For some, having to stop consuming caffeine and weed is the biggest obstacle during pregnancy. For Rachel, it was how to still #42 dress like a slut. Oh, and she never got bigger than a size 0, but claimed she was never on a #5 diet.

rachel zoe

Finally, Rachel has coined her own super trendy words. How many times have you heard your bestie declare last night was "B-A-N-A-N-A-S." Yes, both Gwen Stephani and your lame friend stole that from Zoe. And how often do you hear someone exclaim, "I die!" yet they are still very much alive? 100% original Zoe. What a drama queen. Not to mention she is ALWAYS #82 over it.

So girls, if you want tips on how to make bank without knowing anything about banks besides your ATM pin, Rachel Zoe will always be your main betch.


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