November 3, 2011
It's the end of the night and you've just come back from going out. You're "waitkf. For u !ion a fu jed""obviously means""Where are you? I'm by the bathroom";"but not so blackout that you've lost your #19 VIP and turn this into a negative calorie situation?
Now, in addition to providing us with calorie-free entertainment, a quality fuck buddy will provide us with the only sensation greater than an intoxicating tryst with Molly at best friend and you see her every time the lights go out, maybe she's your shadiest of SABs. Maybe you've never even met her and she's a legend whose amazingness is only known to you through tales from your besties and HBO shows.
But no matter how tight you and Big O are, there are very few betches who don't wish their relationship with this friend who cums and goes was as strong as the Svedka in their vodka sodas.
Now ideally, a guy you're dating is hot, rich, funny, not a complete douchebag, and ridiculous in bed. But let's get real, this bro is fucking hard to come by."Unlike guys, who give more thought to the time and place of their next ejaculation than Obama put into Bin Laden's assassination, betches often prioritize other shit before the "gasm. As in, the quality of things like presents, wardrobe, and mind
Though the importance of the orgasm is different for every betch and further complicated by how we feel about any particular guy's other qualities, the one thing we will say is that it's time to stop faking it. You'll never get off that way and honestly, who gives a shit about anyone's feelings but your own, right? Fake an orgasm and your next "white lie" will be telling this bro that it's totally okay he bought you a Coach bag.
Being a betch means having the best, be that friends, guys, clothes, or sex. Heed the words of legendary slut Samantha Jones: How we are in bed is how we are in life. I've never met a man who was bad in bed but good at life.So keep in mind that if a guy can't kiss,"he sure as hell can't"fuck."Letting a bad kisser slide his way from a 3rd date to inside of you is like volunteering at a homeless shelter or marrying Kim Kardashian, a huge fucking waste of time.