102. Betches Love This City: Barcelona

By The Betches

Be it studying abroad or just visiting for the weekend, every betch knows that when it comes to Europe, Barcelona is one of the betchiest cities. So what’s a betch to do when visiting one of the biggest party cities of the world besides breaking out your perfect high school spanish? Donday estahhh la discotecka? Por fahhhvor?

During the Day You Should: Smoke and go to Parc Guell. This outdoor garden complex looks like something Dr. Seuss fucking dreamed up in one of his trippy books and there’s music and pretty colored statues and shit to take pictures next to. If you’re particularly high you should stop by the Picasso museum and see some fugly famous paintings, of his blue period of course.


parc guellShould have saved my shrooms for this


Since this city clearly has a hard-on for Gaudi, you might also want to visit Sagrada Familia for like twenty minutes until you get bored of seeing yet another old ass church that someone felt compelled to make due to the fact that the hundreds of others were clearly not distinct enough.

If you’re with your #50 guy friends, take a trip to an FC Barcelona soccer game. Here you can buy a cool scarf or jersey and an oversized flag to put in your apartment once you go back to school. You can use this shit to pretend you know about sports and show off your #3 abroad pride.

Also, Barcelona is amazing because it has an awesome beach so be sure to go to Opium on the water for drinks during the day and then go back at night when it turns into a club. Don't look shocked when you see old men running around nude by the water, people will know you are a tourist. Speaking of looking like a tourist, don't go around saying "Barcaaaaaa woooo!" when you are drunk.

You Shouldn't Eat: Anything. Lucky for the betch abroad in Barce, Spain has pretty shitty food unless you for some reason love jamón in and around you at all times. As a result, it’s easy to starve yourself until you go to Italy for spring break. Also, the tapas allows you to ease into your vomiting due to your standard abroad induced bulimia culture shock. Also, as a beach city, it has pretty good sushi so make sure you’re seen at Carpe Diem Lounge Club, a place that is expensive and sceney.


vicky cristina barcelona"This is so much better than Boston."


At Night You Should: Go to one of the many amazing Barcelona clubs that don’t even open until like midnight and will have you returning home at 6am, thirsty as fuck as a result of going out with your BFF Molly. Be sure to hit up clubs like Razzmatazz or Otto Zutz on Mondays so that you’re not partying with actual Spaniards. Ew. Barce nighlife is so amazing that even their bars are almost like clubs. Go to Broadbar for #63 Americans.

So betches, make sure you cross Barcelona off your list of places to see and be seen. Just beware that you should hide your shit because unlike America where everyone merely envies your Chanel purse, the Spaniards have no issue with stealing it while you try and figure out how to work the weird European elevator doors.


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