56. Cutting Lines

By The Betches

We know we've professed our love for #20 clubbing many times before, but we've come to realize that the nightclub experience isn't universal. Unlike average people, a betch's experience at a club has very little to do with things like the music or the awesome drink specials. Drink specials are for cheap tools.

A betch's club experience is defined by being VIP. Yes, we are talking about cutting lines.

There's nothing better than the high a betch gets from cutting the line before entering the club. No matter your technique, it gives us the extra boost of energy we need to get us in the mood for a fun time.

white party

Once you're inside and have pounded a few shots at your table, you'll probably get a little bored. Luckily there's no shortage of opportunities to continue cutting lines once you're in the club. We're obviously talking about the bathroom, where the fun really begins. Here we encounter the bathroom bouncer aka the middle-aged Mexican woman who the club underpays to make sure you aren't cutting lines, and you over-tip to make sure you are.

Cutting lines is a complex art and science, especially when you're in a crowded bathroom full of fellow betches, all with the same goal as you, to be first to the stall. The key is to bump all these bitches out of your way without getting called out. Many #28 betch brawls have begun with an attempt to cut the bathroom line. Try not to get your betchy ass punched in the face, no one wants to leave the bathroom with a nosebleed.

The most important move when cutting the line is to make sure the people you're cutting are purely your type. If there are clear weirdos there, like that girl Krystal you made fun of at camp because she always had a fucking cameltoe, that's your cue to stay the fuck away. Every betch knows that cutting a high-quality line is all you need for a night out that will blow you away.


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