July 6, 2011
So you’re at the bar trying to master the art of seeing and being seen while really fulfilling your greater desire to text in the corner and have annoying people stop approaching you. You’re having a standard night, saying hi to a few girls, hug a few #50 guy friends, and let some bro buy you a drink while you both admire how amazing your pedicure looks in your open-toed pumps.
That’s when you see her out of the corner of your eye. That friend who just can’t help but let the whole world know she’s a huge desperate whore. You and the rest of the bar know just who this girl is. She’s the girl eye-fucking everyone in sight, she’s the one lingering in and around the bar trying to take advantage of the drunkest guy there. The guy who's too fucked up to realize she’s annoying and/or ugly. She is undeniably TGF, Trying to Get FUCKED.
Now every normal person who’s not a home schooled freak or has witnessed pop culture in the past 5 years knows what DTF is, and frankly there’s nothing wrong with that. We respect every girl's choice to be a slut if she so chooses, after all it's 2011 and it can be hard to continuously reject the massive amount of bros coming your way, all trying to get it in. Betches can and occasionally do have sex with bros while making sure to time it perfectly enough that we maintain an overwhelming majority of power.
TGF however, is simply unacceptable. Being DTF is being open to the idea of having sex if it so presents itself. Being TGF is projecting an oozing vibe of desperation for
someone anyone to have sex with you. When a bitch is TGF, you can’t always even see it, but you can definitely feel it. It’s kind of like the wind, or our trust funds.
Any betch knows that while having sex with bros is okay and even encouraged in some circumstances, being down to fuck anything with a pulse is revolting and sad. If people don’t hate you, they’ll inevitably feel sorry for you and wonder what your father did to you to have gotten you to this low point of insecure sexual deprivation.
So betches, if you find that one of your besties has come down with a case of TGF, you should sit her down and knock some fucking sense into her. No one is going to buy the cow if said cow is shoving milk down your fucking throat. It’s a sign of low quality produce. So if you find yourself taking home the guy who all your friends have rejected, lingering at the bar until every last guy has gone home, or texting every bro in your phone that you’re DTF, make an immediate appointment with a psychologist bitch, you’re fucking infected.
Cause you don't wanna miss a thing