How To: Seem Down to Earth

By The Betches

One of the major criticisms about betches is that they're pretentious bitches who lack appreciation and are superficial. In other words, we're not down-to-earth. We're here to help you combat the #43 haters by teaching you how to appear down-to-earth.

Say something is expensive: As a betch you may get yourself into a situation in which you are with a friend that is more poor than you. It is important that you do not offend her while subtly letting her know you are better than her.

"OMG, I love shopping at Harrods, but it's like, so expensive."

Gas is really expensive these days. A gallon is like the price of my iced coffee.”

Random comments about how sad it is for people to be poor or deprived:

"We should totes raise money for the starving kids in Indonesia, I hear it's a serious issue there."

"Oh, I've SEEN Hotel Rwanda. Seriously groundbreaking film."

"I felt really bad for that homeless woman, so I gave her 25 dollars. I really think she'll be able to clean up now and get a job."

A mani on 3rd Ave is only $10, what a steal!"

Random comments about the #2 news:

"I'm so happy they overthrew that dictator in Egypt. It must be because Barack Obama is Muslim."


cluelessChristian: Do you like Billie Holiday? Cher: I love him.


Liking weird movies: But not too many, that makes you a freak from a small liberal arts school. It's okay to say you like movies out of the mainstream though, like The Wackness or Pulp fiction.

“The cinematography in Kill Bill 2 was visually captivating. Can’t wait for Aronofsky’s next one. Oh wait, I meant Requiem…”

So betches, make sure you appear down-to-earth enough so people don't think you're a completely vapid souless bitch, but not so down-to-earth that people feel like they can approach you whenever the fuck they want. It's an art.





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