March 3, 2015
A group of weirdos decided that the final frontier in sexual pleasure is viewing your orgasm from the inside out.
Have you ever thought, "goddamn, I would really like to stick a camera in my vagina, but there's no way my GoPro will fit and my iPhone isn't fluid-resistant?" If so, boy do I ever have good news: The Svakom Gaga Intimate Selfie Camera Vibrator is the first commercially available sex toy complete with an integrated camera. Who the fuck is this for? I have no idea! This is the product description:
Orgasms are an amazing display of passion and satisfaction, from muscle spasms and curling toes to clenched hands and heavy breathing, but have you ever wondered what happens inside the body during climax? The Svakom Gaga provides all the answers...
Whether you use it alone, or with your partner, get to know your body in its beautiful entirety thanks to the remarkably clear footage this camera captures. Plus, thanks to its FaceTime compatibility, sharing the view with your lover couldn't be easier, whether you're sat right next to each other, or miles apart.
Remarkably clear footage! FaceTime compatibility! Fuck, that would be an awkward FaceTime request to get, say, on your lunch break. The only saving grace is that no one would be able to tell what you're looking at. "Dude, are you watching a video of your colonoscopy?"
I don't understand the appeal of this. I mean, sure, lots of dudes get off to watching ladies get off solo - it's a monolithic category of online pornography, only bolstered by the "amateur" industry. But, like, if I want to watch a chick diddle herself (and I do), I wanna see the whole thing - you know, boobs and stuff. What I don't want to see is what it would be like to work as the world's skeeviest gynocologist. This thing is also (obviously) useless during intercourse, unless you want to stick it in each others' butts or something.
Then again, I guess it's not my place to say what other people are into. Technically speaking, viewing an orgasm from within the body is literally as intimate as it gets, I suppose. Oh, the thing is also $180 and ON BACK ORDER, because people are fucking weird.