2. Not Keeping Up With The News

By The Betches


“Hey, in some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo casual, but in some parts it’s considered cool to know what’s going on in the world.” – Josh from Clueless

Even though we loooove Clueless and totally think Josh is adorable, betches don’t live in that part of the universe. In betch world, lack of knowledge about what’s going on in the rest of the world allows us to remain in a cloud of ignorant betch bliss. But that’s not to say we don’t appreciate world tragedies! When our dad or some loser tells us about a national fiasco or natural disaster, we listen sympathetically and contribute our own two cents, adding that Kendra is moving back to L.A. and The Biebs’ Never Say Never got rave reviews. We definitely take advantage of these situations to get ideas for creative Halloween costumes, or maybe drop into conversation at a job interview. Last year everyone thought it was hysterical when we dressed up as Chilean miners, and that was only like, 10 days after they got rescued!

dashiansThis is who we keep up with. Sorry, not sorry.

It’s not that we don’t care about the world. It’s just that it’s so boring and who has time to worry about the situation in Egypt when Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are getting a divorce!!!! Oh my gahhhh!!!

See, we do know what’s going on in the world. This is because we get almost all of our information from a few of our fave news sources: Perez Hilton, TMZ, People Magazine and USWeekly, and E! News. We may not be like, all over the Wall Street Diary, but we’re not toooootally oblivious. Like for example, we were perfectly aware when the volcanic eruption in Europe interfered with our trip to Paris while we were #3 abroad, and we knew exactly how to book our flights around that ash cloud. What was that volcano called again? Whatever, thanks weather.com!

Living in a world without news actually makes us way more tolerant and accepting than those who are so-called “well-read.” Some people have long and deep-seeded hatred for others based on centuries of political turmoil and cultural distrust, but when my brother asked me if my Israeli and Iranian besties ever quarrel about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, it was so great to tell him that the only thing they ever fight about was who got a better tan! See, it’s easy to coexist when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. And they say that the person who cares the least has the most power, right?

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