Revenge Recap: Ding Dong the Ging is Dead

By The Betches


Holy fuck last night was amazing. At last, the episode we've been waiting for since the pilot. If this were Friends, it'd be "The One Where Daniel Gets Shot."

At first we were nauseated over Tyler's return but then he completely killed it the whole episode until he like, got killed himself. Ironic right. But OMG good job commenter! You totally called it was going to be Gingy McHomo who stole Emanda's box..not that kind of box you dirty devil.

Congratulations to Mandy, she finally got her revenge this week. It's like, karma how Daniel is going to be arrested over something he probably didn't do...just like Mandy's dad. We predict Miyagi killed Tyler, though Daniel will be blamed for it. Though it sucks when drama shows turn into trials, like clearly nothing is going to go the way you want it to go. It's just going to be agonizing and stressful. I have enough stress in my life just from playing Scramble With Friends.

Call Outs

Know where I can score some oxy? None of this amateur perc shit.


How did Tyler know where Mandy's infinity box was hidden? Why's he such a psycho? Why doesn't he have any hobbies? Shit, let a girl revenge.

Take my infinity box and my cell phone and my dolphin flash drive but NOT red sharpie!!

Charlotte finds some pills, and makes an "I'm gonna kill myself" face. That's so ridiculous, if I found a bottle of pills my only reaction would be... "I'm about to get so fucked up."

We have no idea where Jack is going but it's really fucking convenient, perhaps it's some magical last minute conference for bartenders who never actually bartend? Seriously though where's he going? Offshore? We're just concerned about how Declan's going to handle the responsibility of being the only poor kid in the Hamptons.

Note to Jack: Notice how you're always chasing people around and no one's ever chasing you? It's a sign.

It's so cute how Noledog is like Emanda's second right hand, or little bitch, if you will. It's weird because he's gay, and doesn't want to fuck Emanda, so what does he want, her approval? That's, for the lack of a better word, gay.


Wait is Amanda in love with Emily Thorne? Making her in love with herself? Making her really really betchy but also kind of a lesbian?

How did grandpa Grayson get his hands on Declan Porter's test scores? Aren't you a CEO? Don't you have better shit to do than a parent teacher conference for your granddaugter's gay boyfriend who she's slumming it with?

How the fuck is that dog still alive?

Some words on the Grayson Global business strategy:

Why do the Graysons constantly leave their most important clients to their beautiful idiot grandson who they claimed was an alcoholic just three weeks ago and hasn't even finished business school?'s so surprising how the economy collapsed.

In his meeting with Miyagi he further proves how he's so fucking stupid, like why would this Asian business man care what you're doing with your fiancé. THERE'S NO WAY YOU WENT TO HARVARD. My fiance and I are planning to go to Aruba, then we're thinking of going across seas to the Greek islands. Know a place where we can get some great baklava?

How'd you know I like it rough Emanda?

LOL Moments


Jack looking at his bloody hand after they made out... AMANDA! DID YOU JUST GET YOUR PERIOD!??! Come back! I'll find you a super plus!!

About Daniel trying to convince Emanda to run away with him. First of all, it's not called "running away" with someone when you're 25. It's called "moving out of your mom's house." Also like, what is this, Revolutionary Road? Move to Paris with me or we're dunzo and I'm going to abort our baby in the bathroom!

When Emanda sees a supposedly dead Daniel that's the first time we've ever seen her show real emotion. We would too if we thought the only really hot character on this show was about to be killed off.

Tyler (RIP) is so Silence of the Lambs. It rubs the pictures of David Clarke all over itself and then puts it back in the infinity box.





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