This Ugly Effing Skirt Got A High School Girl Suspended

By Jane Duh

So, due to the onslaught of amazing celeb gossip this past week (Heidi Klum's horrifying Jessica Rabbit costume, Adele without makeup, Karl Lagerfeld throwing shade at Kim), you may have missed this little story out of The Beaufort Gazette about Betch-in-Training Casey Burgess, who had her god-given right to dress like a slut challenged by a set of rules that has unfairly targeted Betches since the dawn of time: The Dress Code.

Every betch on the planet has had a run in with this ancient set of bullshit rules that somehow says that boys can't learn math if I'm wearing a tank top. It's almost like a right of passage. Only issue here is the skirt in question which is, without a doubt, the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen, isn't really that short.

Now, this isn't to throw shade at Casey Burgess who is in high school and thereby legally allowed to make up to ten egregious fashion errors per year without consequence, but just look at that thing! In what way is this skirt, which is legitimately the longest non-maxi skirt I've ever seen in my fucking life, going to be distracting to boys at school. How sex crazed are the boys at Beaufort High?!? I want answers.

This skirt is the size, shape, and texture of a legitimate potato sack which, when paired with a flowey striped top (which I actually like) isn't exactly bodycon. So how the f did this merit Casey, who btw is STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT, to get an IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION?

Unclear. But what is clear is that Casey Burgess' ugly effing skirt ain't nothin' to fuck with because future Betch Burgess did what any aspiring Kardashian would do and vented on social media:

The post got 300 likes and 2,100 shares (typical weekend for me tbh) and did exactly what every teenager always dreams of doing: made the school backtrack like a motherfucker, half-heartedly apologize, and look really, really fucking stupid.

What's even crazier is that, according to Burgess, she has also been accused of dress code violations for wearing the STRIPED SWEATER in the pic, which I legitimately can't find anything wrong with so I have no idea how to even address that claim. 

Things got so intense for the Nazi regime at Beaufort, that the principal had to make a statement in which he managed to compliment Burgess' writing, say the school did nothing wrong, but also say that the outfit wasn't actually in violation of the dress code. So, basically he did what high schools always do, bullshitted everyone, and wasted our valuable time.

Still, the post has gone viral and Burgess has received widespread praise for sticking it to the fucking man.

I mean, come on, "Maybe society isn't advanced enough to see three inches of my thigh..." is some good shit. I wish I'd thought to say that when I was forced to wear a giant shirt that said DRESS CODE over my entire body because I wanted to wear something cute to school on my 16th birthday.

But, then again, my outfit was legit inappropriate. 




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