February 10, 2014
Los Feliz, a neighborhood in Los Angeles, aka where thousands and thousands of devoted Starbucks betches live, has gotten itself in a lot of trouble over the dumbest thing we have ever heard…literally.
“Dumb Starbucks” is a coffee shop that just opened and is exactly like the place we have grown attached to throughout the years. Down to the fattening pastries we don’t touch and the names of the drinks we order without taking a breath, this parody shop went to a lot of trouble to get potentially sued. Like seriously, did the storeowners think the actual Starbucks would just take this lying down? They really must be dumb.
A FAQ sheet outside the store reads: “We are simply using their name and logo for marketing purposes. By adding the word ‘dumb’ we are technically ‘making fun’ of Starbucks, which allows us to use their trademarks under a law known as ‘fair use.’” While that may be true, we're sure Starbucks is still going to take action because even though it’s called a parody, “Dumb Starbucks” is still broaching on copyright and trademark infringement since they aren’t just using their store name, they are also using their drink names and logo, which are also trademarked.
The loophole: they're claiming to be an "art gallery" or sorts, and everything is free, which makes sense because the store will have even more legal woes if they are profiting from Starbucks entirely. By definition, a parody case is not considered "fair use" when a claimed parody is used to promote competitive goods or services. So, this new place is going to be either irrelevant or broke very soon.
Regardless, people have been lining up for hours and putting in more effort than they have in their life waiting in an actual Starbucks. At least if we see a long line at Starbucks, we can just walk over to the less crowded one across the street. Supply and demand, betches. Right now the only people who work there are two employees, hence the wait, and only free iced coffee and lattes are offered. So it’s obvious who their target demographic is: poor, dumb people who have time to wait in line. We hear the coffee isn't even good.
Let’s see how long this place lasts before Starbucks comes and takes away every last “dumb refresher” and “dumb orange mocha Frappuccino” that isn’t even being made. Fucking teases.