June 12, 2015
Dear “Poor” Girls,
Let’s have a chat about money. As much as you like to act like you don’t have any, you probably do. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of actual poor people in the world, and their lives suck, but you’re probably not one of them. Actual poor people don’t shop at American Apparel, and they don’t eat lunch every day from the Whole Foods salad bar. In fact, here’s a list of things that actual poor people don’t do:
This list is by no means exhaustive; it’s just meant to give a taste of how not-poor people live. If you still feel like you can ask your parents to get you a Coachella weekend pass for your birthday, you’re doing okay. Trust me, I know the feeling of your bank account being a little low before the next direct deposit, but that doesn’t really make you an actual poor person.
This letter is especially relevant if you’re a college betch who has never had a real job. Just because you’re mad your parents don’t give you more spending money doesn’t mean they hate you, and doesn’t mean you’re broke. It’s hard to justify saying you’re broke when your parents can pay your $60,000 tuition without a scholarship. I’m not judging, I’m just explaining that this doesn’t make you poor. If you really feel strongly about this though, you might want to consider getting a job. Trust me, getting that first paycheck feels literally magical.
So not to get all preachy or anything, but remember that there are people in the world who don’t know where their next meal is coming from, and that you’ll probably never have that issue. That’s all I wanted to say, now go back to talking shit about your parents and ordering in for dinner.
Not Really Poor Betch