June 23, 2015
For all the girls who claim to have no idea what girl code is, you’re clearly lying because in order to grow up as a normal citizen of this country you would have had to watch at least a handful of romantic comedies. No one gets through middle school without watching 13 Going on 30 at a sleepover. Jennifer Garner’s stupid douchebag boyfriend at 30 was exactly why we knew what not to look for in bros. Not that that chubby, nice boy really helped us out either.
Anyway, movies like these are the reason why we now know that it’s not okay to date the ex of one of your besties. In reality, that big no no has practically been drilled into our highlighted heads since we were in preschool when that exotic new girl tried to steal your boyfriend of two days. Bitch, he pushes me on the swings, not your fugly ass. You learned how it felt to have someone play with your used toy so you knew not to fucking do it to others.
Not hooking up with or dating one of your bestie’s exes does not make you a nice girl. It makes you human and shows you’re smart. You clearly pick your friends wisely so why would you hook up with a guy who either fucked her over or she decided was lame?
Girls who violate girl code are not betches. They’re the ones who think their Longchamp bag is trendy, the ones who will end up as an office assistant to their dad, the ones who post pictures of themselves with bottles of alcohol to prove just how cool and reckless they are. Being stupid and shady to her friends isn’t what makes a betch. It just reveals her true dud personality and how much of a delusional dater she really is.
The worst part for the losers who think they can violate girl code is that they really think they will end up happy. This sad delusion just makes watching them throw themselves at your ex SAB that much better. She thinks it’s okay to sit on his lap at a party you’re at, but there’s really no faster way to social extinction.
Girl code can sometimes be taken too far. This applies to batshit crazy girls who think making out with a guy a few times drunkenly is good enough reason to hate that girl who’s sleeping with him. Sure, she may be in your pledge class, but have you ever talked to her directly? A good rule of thumb is that you had to have slept with him at least twice and drunk cried over him at least three times. Bonus points if you considered texting him during the day once. You obviously never did (ew), but the consideration still counts.
At the end of the day, the girls who don’t follow the code will get what’s coming their way. The bro will eventually get bored of her (or finally come out of the closet) and she will be left friendless because hell hath no fury like a betch scorned.