March 7, 2014
Apparently it's the year 2000 again only instead of stocking up on canned goods that I can store in my basement for the impending apocalypse that was Y2K, I'm reading tabloids about Aaron Carter's love for Hilary Duff. Hils, who is separated from baby daddy Mike Comry used to date Aaron like 5 million years ago before rumors of his affair with Lindsay Lohan broke them up (or some shit like that, I really can't remember because I was in like 5th grade at the time).
Then out of nowhere Aaron tweets a modern day pic of Hilary, being all like "Don't be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me…" Then a probably still drunk Aaron tweeted AGAIN "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her," UM, let it go man it's been like fifteen years. If she wanted to date a washed up singer Lizzie McGuire probably would've married Paolo. Fucking duh.
I'm sure one day the two star crossed lovers will reunite. Until then I'm sure Hilary is shocked that someone took her "Coming Clean" song seriously while simultaneously updating her security system.