June 30, 2015
Are you stuck at home this summer? Yeah, that sucks a lot. There’s nothing worse than having a raging case of FOMO seeing your besties studying abroad (read: on vacation) or on some other equally envy-worthy adventure when you’re stuck at an internship your dad got you.
You can try to make your life seem super fun on social media even though you’re in your shitty hometown, but it’s pretty hard to polish that turd. The best advice, throw on your Jackie O shades and try your hardest to remember you’re the coolest person here.
Here are the most acceptable places to hang out while at home this summer:
Yes, I mean your #150 country club. But like, if you have to say “the country club” to know what I’m talking about you probably can’t sit with us. You can spend your dad’s money on cocktails while sitting by a pool, check out hot tennis pros or take up golf or something to distract yourself from your bummer of a summer. Golf sounds boring right? Here’s a secret, bros love girls who pretend they can golf. They get a super weird boner about it. So buy a Lululemon skort and get a new hobby and possibly a summer bf to go along with it.
If you’re lucky enough to live near a large body of water, spend your time there. You didn’t spend a shitload of money on a new swimsuit to have it sit in a drawer all summer. Show off how hot you are and preferably do it on a boat. Pro Tip: If you don’t know anyone with a boat just scan Hinge for anyone who says their interests include “boating” or “wakeboarding” or something. You don’t have to marry them, just make a new boat-owning friend. You’re welcome.
Ok, I know this is a dumb suggestion, but hear me out. If you can’t have an awesome time or make your summer look awesome on Insta, just pretend to be really busy and, like, concerned about your future or something by working. If you work at a tanning salon then your life sucks entirely, but if your job is slightly redeemable like you’re doing a PR or tech internship in a building with really good snapchat lighting, then you can pretend you’re hard at work instead of having the most boring summer of all time. This is only a daylight time-suck, you’re on your own for having an acceptable night life.