WTF Is Going On With Alien Sightings Right Now? | Betches

WTF Is Going On With Alien Sightings Right Now?

By Queen Elizabetch

ICYM Khloe Kardashian's Twitter freak out on Saturday, the aliens have landed. Start bulking up on apocalypse supplies - vodka, red bull, Kind bars - because we're about to get fucking invaded like a Will Smith movie.


There were some crazy lights  in the sky above LA this weekend - crazier than a Major Lazer concert - and it looked like some War of the Worlds level shit. The US government says that it was just a missile test from a ballistic missile submarine. They recycled that excuse from the Area 51 days - it's not alien activity, just war exercises. I'm calling bullshit: Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams.

Then on Sunday in Cape Town, South Africa - where literally every girl from NYC is studying abroad this semester - UFO clouds appeared during the day. Apparently there's a scientific explanation for the alien-inspired Insta's you saw, they're called "stratocumulus standing lenticularis" clouds - that sounds like a bacterial infection my little had last semester. A scientist on CNN said that "They form when air reaches some sort of obstruction like a mountain or valley." Or maybe the aliens were checking out the best ski resorts before the season starts.

At this point I'm just waiting for Obama to go on a surprise "vacation" and Anderson Cooper to tell me "don't panic." But like you should definitely host an end of the world themed party this weekend - if we're about to be colonized by some aliens, there's no fucking way I'm going to be sober for it.




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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