The Alternative Ending To Titanic Is Literally The Worst

By Queen Elizabetch

James Cameron the director of the Titanic decided to be generous or he realized just how terrible Avatar really was and released an alternative ending to Titanic. Just so we're all on the same page, he released this alternate ending 14 fucking years after the movie came out. This is some Parent Trap level bullshit. Like lol, turns out everything you thought you knew was wrong here's a new sibling ending to obsess over.

So the scene starts with Rose's middle aged granddaughter, seriously she's old as shit, that has to be a plot flaw, seriously considering pity fucking the blonde guy. Then they realize Rose is on deck and might jump because #TBT to when she was younger on Titanic and bat shit crazy. Rose tries to explain why she kept the necklace as, "The hardest part about being so poor was being so rich." Give me a fucking break Rose, you could have bought half of the world but instead married some basic nobody. Cal might have been an asshole but at least he could bankroll your life. Sometimes a betch makes the tough call and stays with the money. She keeps going on this self righteous kick with, "you look for treasure in the wrong places, only life is priceless and making each day count." Congrats Rose, you just quoted your long lost one night stand.

Blonde guy is somehow convinced by this literal bullshit and is like "yeah go ahead and throw this necklace away because...peace love Jack Dawson." Then the guy who looks like a stoner/rabbi says what we're all fucking thinking "that really sucks, lady." AMEN. Blonde guy then goes fucking crazy and starts laughing like a Sanderson sister at Halloween. Movie ends.

Now I understand why this wasn't released for 17 years. Because it sucks ass. I almost feel like we should take away one of James Cameron's Oscars for this travesty.




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