September 17, 2012
Other than @badgalRiRi's huge underboob tattoo and the fact that she instagrams pictures of herself asking us to vote for her for the VMAs with the caption, "so much dick riding that my cock hurt," Rihanna Watch 2012 came to a dead end. So we decided to move on to a more self-destructive 20-something celebrity, Mandy Bynes.
Amanda Watch 2012 has quickly become necessary seeing as this girl seems craizer than a coked out Billy Eichner. We've all read the TMZ posts about her illegal stints with driving but the best one of them all is the article describing her schizophrenic tendencies. Honestly, it's all making sense to us now. Remember Penelope, her "stalker"? And in She's The Man she pretended to be two different people. (You know what, everything about the Amanda Show was fucking weird.) So could it be, was Amanda able to cook up these roles simply because she thinks these people are actually real? Like when she was recently seen speaking to her elliptical, perhaps Sebastian was really paying her a visit at the gym to brag about his newfound secret gay love affair with Channing Tatum and all the slutty things they've been doing with soccer balls.
You know who's not impressed? Lindzlo. She's pissed off that she had to spend 3 hours in a jail cell with smelly unkempt lesbians and wear a fugly plastic anklet and all Amanda got was a slap on the wrist and a few exposed pics of her eating fast food. "Not fair," says Lindzlo, "I was in Georgia Rule!"
But the best part of it all is that Mandy's saying she's not cliff diving into a sea of crazy, claiming that all of this is sooo out of proport. Well the pics speak for themselves Manday so get it together, or don't, but at least do us a favor and clean up your car. No one likes a dirty stoner.
Stay tuned for our coverage of Bynes gone bonkers because we have a sneaking suspicion we may be forced to change the name to Amanda Watch 2013.