Angelica Pickles: Throwback Thursday

By The Betches

I aspired to be Angelica Pickles when I was five, and TBH I still kind of aspire to be her now. Since 1991, this little nugget of a betch has helped young girls everywhere to sift through the irrelevant “education” that lamer shows provide, like the importance of sharing or numbers. She always kept it real, and demonstrated time and time again that the best things in life really can be achieved as easily as taking candy from a baby. That’s why I firmly believe that:

All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (From Angelica Pickles)*

*Hint, it has nothing to do with playing fair.

1. Be persuasive. Be very persuasive.

2. Or just make shit up when you can’t.

Angelica's Mom: "Angelica didn't I tell you not to eat those cookies?!?"

Angelica: "Umm...I don't remember."

3. It’s fun to get high once in a while.

Angelica, after listening to the Dummi Bears song:

"I'm happy, are you happy?”

4. Know how to dish out a good burn.

You babies are so dumb, I’m surprised you even know which end of the bottle to suck!

5. Plan for the future, and know your options.

Only some of us stay beautiful unless you go and get elastic perjury.

6. If you don’t know the lyrics, just make them up cause who gives a shit.

It's raining, it's pouring! The old man is boring! He stayed in bed and stayed in bed and never went exploring!

7. Say mysterious and/or profound things every so often.

If you have to ask, you'll never know!

8. Show the bros in your life that you’re HBIC. Bonus points if you can get them to make you pudding at 4 AM.

9. Have a best friend who’s a really cool dancer.

10.  And most importantly, be fully aware of how amazing you are at all times.

Sometimes I wish I could be you, so I could be friends with me.




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