November 13, 2014
Our newest obsession “How to Get Away with Murder” has given us a new betchy idol to worship, because Olivia Pope is so last year (and is also starting to be annoying). Though we don’t usually watch that much television on Thursdays because it’s prime drinking time, watching Viola Davis fucking slay it as Annalise Keating makes us want to rethink our priorities. Or at least DVR it.
Annalise has proven to be the betchiest professor in the fucking world and has picked up where Legally Blonde left off on inspiring betches to become lawyers. She isn’t sitting there telling her students “you is kind, you is smart, you is important,” but instead making them turn against each other in order to gain her affection. Everyone basically shits their pants every time she walks into a room because they know that she’s the baddest bitch in town. She’s shady AF and has a super hot side pro, which only makes us idolize her more.
When she’s not insulting her students or throwing someone under the bus, she doing something all betches love: WINNING. Is there even a point of existing if you aren’t winning? Fuck no. And Annalise totally gets it. Homegirl will legit do anything to win her court cases, and we only have room for cold-hearted bitches like her in our hearts.
It’s also kind of hard not to instill fear in everyone around you when you are easily the richest and most fabulous person in the room, we should know. It comes naturally, really. Annalise dresses perfectly throughout the series (as long as you blackout the one time she took off all her makeup and wig) and she looks like she’s in an old people version of Gossip Girl. She’s def not a regular lawyer, she’s a cool lawyer.
Aristotle once said “the law is reason free from passion” but no offense to him, but in my time watching “How to Get Away With Murder”, I can tell you that the law is only fucking interesting when it’s being practiced by Annalise Keating.
“Think carefully, everything after this moment will not only determine your career but life. You can spend it in a corporate office drafting contracts and hitting on chubby paralegals before finally putting a gun in your mouth. Or you can join my firm and become someone you actually like. So decide, do you want the job or not?”
“You have to work really hard to fool me.”
“The way you are whining right now makes me believe that you think I am your mother.”