December 19, 2014
Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross (Diana Ross' son) have decided that the world needs more of their DNA, and are procreating. Evan is the definition of a C-list celebrity riding his mother's fame, but at least he's not Pete Wentz. Story true: Pete and Ashlee broke up because he wouldn't stop using her eyeliner without asking.
Ashlee, on the other hand, has had a more prolific career, and by career I mean public fuck ups. Whenever this child gets mad at Ashlee, he/she can just pull up the video of Ash lip syncing on SNL. Nobody who wears gauchos and does that awkward flail dance has the right to discipline anybody.
Mazel Ash and Evan, take a lesson from Jessica and maybe don't gain 378 pounds.