Avocado Shortage Leads to Cravings for More Avocados

By Betchy Crocker

So, apparently, avocados are in short supply for the betches Down Under. Yes, the land of The Rescuers is experiencing a pretty severe avocado shortage. Why? Too much rain and also all those fires.

When the avocado crops get hella moist (ugh), there’s a higher risk for fungal disease – causing rot inside the actual avocado. Think about that one time you bought a shitty avocado without realizing it, cut into that badboy while you were dying for some avocado toast, and witnessed a black mold horror show which totes made you gag. Yah, all of Australia is pretty much dealing with that right now.

Even before the rain, fire, and whatever else Australia was dealing with, the huge demand for the fruit was keeping farms on their toes. Customers who can’t stand NOT to have their avocados right now are paying upwards of $6 FOR FUCKING ONE AVOCADO. Some restaurants are even using frozen avocados which is, like, gross.

In honor of this horror, here’s a recipe for avocado “fries.” Super bummer, Australia – call us when you’re avocados grow back.


  • 3 firm-ripe avocadoes
  • ½ cup flour
  • Salt and pepper
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1 ½ cps panko bread crumbs
  • 1 tbsp melted butter
  • ½ tsp garlic powder
  • ½ tsp smoked paprika
  • Cooking spray

Preheat oven to 450F. Line a baking sheet with foil and place a wire rack on said sheet. Set aside. Slice the avocado long ways – you should get like 20 slices.

Set up three bowls – in the first, place the flour, a bit of salt and a few grinds of pepper. In the middle bowl, beat the eggs. In the last bowl, combine the panko, melted butter, garlic powder, and paprika. Add a bit more salt and pepper to that last bowl, too.

Dredge each avocado slice in the flour, then the egg, then coat with the panko. Place on the wire rack and spray lightly with cooking spray. Repeat with allllll the slices.

Bake for like 25 minutes or until the panko is light golden brown. Cool and eat. Yay! 




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