March 19, 2015
Azealia Banks is on the next cover of Playboy, something people still do apparently, and boy does she have a LOT to say about white people.
The gist? She's not a fan. Which, to be fair, isn't an uncommon opinion. You might think it's because our genetic gene pool is somehow responsible for producing her mortal enemy, Iggy Azalea, but that's only part of it. She hates, and I quote, "fat, white Americans. All the people who are crunched into middle America, the real fat and meat of America, are these racist conservative white people who live on their farms. Those little teenage girls who work at Kmart and have a racist grandma - that's really America."
Maybe Azealia isn't aware, but everyone hates that part of America. The Midwest, in all of its racist, butter-loving glory, is a very easy part of America to hate, kind of like the Jersey Shore and all of Florida. Hopefully she's had the chance to check out the less fat, less conservative parts. It sounds like you would really appreciate LA, Azealia. I'm not really sure if her opinion extends to thin, non-racist Americans, but I'm not feeling optimistic about it.
Banks goes on to make a lot of valid points in her interview about race and slavery that I, as the absolute whitest of white girls, probably have no right to comment on, so I won't. However, I most definitely have something to say about her characterization of Kanye West. She claims that, like Pharrell and Kendrick Lamar, Kanye is playing the "non-threatening black man" card in order to win the acceptance of the white community.
Like, I know she's been pretty busy lately starting Twitter wars with Igloo and all, but seriously? Other than team up with Paul McCartney, please name one thing Kanye has done that hasn't made old, white people uncomfortable. I can't think of a single public action of his that has made conservative, white Americans go, "We see you, Kanye, and we accept you now." There is literally nothing white, middle-aged women (of any political party) love more than talking shit on Kanye West. I know this because I have the distinct pleasure of being surrounded by white, middle-aged women on a daily basis. They tear that shit up. But I digress.
When asked why she always feels the need to get so angry and talk shit in interviews, Azealia gets angry and proceeds to talks more shit in her interview. She brings up Lorde (no one is safe), and how she can "run her mouth" on Twitter and not ever get accused of being angry because she's white. I think this has less to do with her being white and more that no one wants to suffer the consequences of fucking with a main member of the Swift Squad. If Taylor's cat can scratch the shit out of her $40 million insured legs, just imagine what it could do to your face.
What we can draw from this interview is that there is a very high chance Azealia Banks hates you (unless you're Jay-Z, in which case thanks for reading my article. Big fan. Send my love to Blue). Don't question it, and just hope that she never finds you on Twitter.