Sometimes you just don’t have time to be culinary chic. I mean, Ina Garten doesn’t have kids or need a real job so like, of course she has time to travel to Madagascar for her vanilla and then bake it into a soufflé that took 4 hours to make.
We don’t have that kind of time, since, like, we have bigger shit (like finding out who the fuck posted that pic on YikYak last night) to deal with. Lucky for you, there are shortcuts, and one food that you didn’t expect to have one—RISOTTO—totally fucking does.
Obviously, you’ll need a large Dutch oven for this shit (Le Creusetttttttttt). Preheat your oven to 400F. In your giant Dutch oven, fry the bacon over medium heat until it's good and crispy. Remove from the pan and set aside, leaving the fat, then add the leeks and cook, stirring occasionally, until they’re soft—should take about 8 minutes. Add the garlic, thyme, salt, and pepper and cook for about a minute, then add the rice and cook until that shit is toasted—like 2 minutes.
Stir in 3 cups of the broth, up the heat to about medium-high and bring that pot to a simmer. Cover it, then transfer to the oven. Make sure you stir it half way through—at the 15 minute mark—unless you want it to stick and your dinner is ruined and like wtf is even the point of trying. Cook for like 30 mins or until the rice is tender and the liquid is absorbed.
Once that shit is done, stir in the remaining 1 ¼ cups of the broth, plus the cheese, butter, and bacon. Eat. Eat forever. Carbo-loading is fine because seriously, fuck your Paleo diet.