May 14, 2013
As a winning betch it's clear that you're in another league when it comes to playing shady games with the many bros in your life. But today we're going to explore one very specific type of mind game, a bro move with more potential to ruin your game than an Awkward Texting Dynamic. We'll explain with an anecdote.
Once upon a time you meet a bro, let's call him Adam, who's obsessed with you. I mean sure most guys are, but you think he's just okay. You don't really care, you don't really try, he's just another guy who's interested. Adam gets your number and starts texting you. You'll hook up a few times, and if you're a post-grad betch he will take you on anywhere from 3-7 dates and after a while you start to think this guy is worthy of the time you've spent with him, but you're nowhere even close to in-like.
Suddenly a few days pass and you realize something is wrong...not like 'my period is 4 days late' wrong...but a small irritation in your mind as you notice Adam's texts have gotten shorter and less frequent. He's not ignoring you or anything but like, 'Why hasn't he asked how many Splendas I put in my iced coffee this morning? Where are his paragraphs detailing how many times his coworker went to the bathroom? What is happening in the world!?'
Betches, we call this move the Bait and Switch and if you've ever been there you know it's one of the hardest moves to anticipate and navigate. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, sometimes there's an awkward interaction that might precede it. Either way, every betch knows the most desirable things are those you cannot have. It's no longer about Adam. In fact, you didn't even save him as a contact until he decreased the frequency at which he texted you first. But now all of a sudden, all your thoughts surround him so much so that you can't keep your eyes away from your phone or your mind off analyzing your conversations. This is because the game has turned on you.
So what do you do? For starters, you definitely do not ask him what's wrong. Either you totally forget about him if you can handle it (skip to ignore ignore ignore) or you sign up for the game because from now on it's all about #32 winning with the bro who thinks he can pull the Bait and Switch on the most amazing person he's ever met.
You're never the exception.
Know the signs: A smart betch can sense the bait and switch coming a mile away. Like if you've heard from a million of your besties that this guy is a big douchebag to girls then you can assume he will eventually try to pull his usual shit with you. Which is why the second step is key.
Pull the Bait & Switch yourself: If you know it's coming, you can do it first. Just when you think he might be getting a little less verbose with his compliments or stops scheduling dates at Michelin starred restaurants, you immediately have to act less interested in him or preoccupied with other plans. It's called classical conditioning, and if Pavlov's dogs can understand the importance of a ringing bell, even the dumbest bro will understand the importance of a non-ringing phone.
Ignore, ignore, ignore: Once you've successfully turned the tables back in your favor you have to fucking keep them there, or all your work was for nothing. There's nothing like ignoring even just one text to leave your bro wondering where the fuck you are/who else you might be fucking. Even if you're doing fucking nothing, it's important to show signs of your own Bait & Switch behavior to keep a bro
on his toes in your inbox.
Know when to give up: In some cases, a girl may claim a guy is pulling the B&S but what she really means is that she's delusional. If a guy has met another girl or is just not that into you, you need to get the memo. If this bro's text responses have consisted of only "kk" or "lol" for the past three days, you're done.
So betches, now you know the signs and symptoms of the Bait & Switch so there is no reason you should ever fall victim to it. However there is a reason B&S can also stand for Bull and Shit.