Nice Girls Rejoice, Barbie Is Now Wearing Flats | Betches

Nice Girls Rejoice, Barbie Is Now Wearing Flats

By Queen Elizabetch

The Barbie dolls of betches' youths were purposefully designed to teach us that skinny, pretty, well-dressed girls were born with an advantage over everyone else. Sure, Barbie's measurements are physically impossible in the real world, but who cares when she's wearing a mermaid dress and stilettos while "cooking dinner" in her dream house?


The best part about Barbie was that she was either the fact that she was always wearing 4 inch heels or walking on her tip-toes as if she was wearing 4 inch heels. She was committed to having fabulous legs and an amazing ass. But now, Barbie has been redesigned with adjustable ankles so that she can wear different shoe heights and...flats. The apocalypse is near.

These people don't understand that Barbie wasn't meant to be comfortable, she was meant to be chic. To quote Victoria Beckham: "I just can't concentrate in flats." Same, Victoria. If I had wanted a realistic toy I would have bought a book.




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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