Beer And Cheese Soup: For Your Dude Friends

By Betchy Crocker

It’s no secret that yah, occasionally we may try to be cool and host a bunch of bros, be it for football, baseball, sports in general, or to prove you do, in fact, know how to cook.

Like betches, bros have food groups they continually go back to. Unlike betches, theirs are usually gross and unhealthy. Therefore, we, in an effort to please everyone, have decided to make beer and cheese soup, adapted from Food & Wine, because classy.

Yah, it sounds gross, but let the bros dip in a hunk of carbs bread, or top it with pretzels and more cheese and bam—you have fans for life. You’ll be happy to know that it is, in fact, fucking delicious, so you can have some so long as you eat nothing else pretty much all day.


  • ½ lb of slab bacon, diced
  • 1 celery rib, diced
  • 1 small yellow onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, seeded, ribs removed, diced
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 tbsp fresh thyme, chopped
  • One 12-oz bottle any lager or pilsner you've got in the back of your fridge
  • 2 cups no-salt-added chicken broth
  • 4 tbsps unsalted butter
  • ¼ cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup heavy cream ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • ½  lb sharp cheddar, shredded
  • 1/2 cup smoked gruyere, shredded
  • Salt and pepper

So despite the long fucking list of ingredients, this shit is super easy to make. Grab a large saucepan and cook the bacon over medium heat until that shit is crispy and you have a big ol’ pan of bacon fat. Using a slotted spoon, remove the bacon to a bowl or plate, then, leaving the fat in the pan, add in the celery, onion, jalapeno, garlic, and thyme – cooking over medium heat and stirring until softened. That should take you like 5-10 mins. Then, add HALF of the beer and cook until it’s reduced. Add the chicken broth and bring the whole thing up to a simmer.

Grab a small skillet and melt the butter. Add the flour and cook over medium heat, stirring, until it’s lightly browned. If you’ve made a roux, you know wtf you’re doing. Whisk this shit into the soup until it’s all mixed in, then bring the whole thing to a simmer and cook until it’s thiiiiiick like 10 mins later. Add the heavy cream, cheeses, and the rest of the beer and simmer, stirring, until it’s thick and creamy and delicious.

Add back in the bacon you cooked, plus more broth if that shit is too thick, but it’s probs perf. HOOOORAY 3 MORE POUNDS.





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