It’s Time To Stop Dating Bros And Start Dating Pros, Introducing BeLinked

By The Betches

Tired of talking to a bro at a bar, only to find out later that he works at Subway? Sick of picking up the tab when your date “conveniently” forgets his wallet at home? Do you find yourself saying, “No I don’t want no scrubs, a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me?” Then you’re in luck.

BeLinked is a new and improved dating app that matches you to guys through your LinkedIn network, so you can finally snag the CEO you’ve always dreamed of.

Here’s how you use it:

1. Sign up with your LinkedIn Profile. The app will pull your photo, name, and age. If you don’t have a LinkedIn you really should get on that unless you want to end up like Warner at the end of Legally Blonde: without honors, without a job offer and without a boyfriend.

2. Add a tagline and share info about your industry and school. You thought you’d never use your Tinder bio again, but you were wrong!

3. Choose your dating preferences. They’re filtered by gender, age, distance, industry and school. Shouts out to the girls who’re sick of being called picky because they’ll only date 28-year-old investment bankers who went to an Ivy.

4. Swipe through your matches just like you would on Tinder or another similar app. Once you get matched you’ll be able to chat with the pro of your dreams, aka no chubby bald dudes messaging you like, “Hey gorgeous, you remind me of my pinky toe cause I wanna bang u on every surface!” …I mean unless you’re into that.

5. Match your friends. Now you can be your own Millionaire Matchmaker with BeLinked’s “BeIntroduced” feature, which lets you recommend potential matches to your friends by text or email. Our main betch Patti had better watch out.

Some more things to keep in mind

- BeLinked doesn’t only go through your immediate matches, and will never post to LinkedIn. TG because I don’t need another app threatening my career prospects, my Facebook is incriminating enough.

- All your activity is anonymous. So like you won’t get blackballed from your industry of choice by some butthurt bro who was mad you gave him a hard pass.

- You can download BeLinked on your iPhone today! Sorry, Android, nobody likes you.









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