June 12, 2015
Ben and Jerry's are working on creating non-dairy ice cream options, so get ready for coconut and almond based ice cream. Apparently, more than 27,000 people really wanted ice cream but couldn't digest dairy - I'm picturing the ultimate period craving for Phish Food. The only people who can't eat dairy ice cream are the lactose intolerant (take a fucking lactaid pill and stop whining) and the worst people you will ever meet...vegans.
Basically, vegans wouldn't stop fucking talking about how they're vegan, so instead of listening to them humble brag about not being able to eat 400 calories of chocolate chip cookie dough in a waffle cone, Ben and Jerry's decided to make dairy free ice cream. Now if only there was a way to make people who do crossfit to shut the fuck up...