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The 6 Emoji You Should Never Use For Sexting & 6 That Will Get You Laid

When beginning a text relationship with a new potential bae, your choice of emojis can either make or break the interaction. A correctly placed winking cat face can make you look like a cute fun millennial who also may or may not be a cat, but just a few too many laughing-crying faces in a row and you look like a legit psycho who needs to stop LOLing and start getting your life in check.

So which are the best and worst emojis for text-based flirting? We’ve sorted them out for you. Follow our advice and you’ll be getting a “U UP?” in no time. Fail to heed our warnings and don’t be surprised to see your shit screenshot and roasted in his fantasy league’s group text. 

THE BEST

The Eggplant

The eggplant is the king of all flirt-mojis for a very simple reason: it looks like a dick. If you want to see someone’s dick, you can send them this emoji and they’ll understand what you want. Given that men don’t need much prompting to send their junk to strangers, only send this emoji if you’re prepared for the dick pics to follow.

 

Heart Eye Emoji Face

Short, sweet, and to the point. Your eyes are hearts, and your hearts are for bae. It’s not subtle, but it’ll send the message to whomever you’re texting that their flirting is having the desired effect. Can be used interchangeably with the cat heart eye emoji, which means the exact same thing except also you like cats. However, if you are going to use the cat heart eye emoji, you must remain vigilant that you’re not swapping out all applicable emojis for their cat-faced counterparts, or you risk looking like a crazy cat lady in training.

Smiling Devil Emoji

What better way to let someone you just met at a bar know you’re down for a little trouble than the smiling devil emoji? The smiling devil is cute (like you) but also not to be trusted (also like you), leaving the person on the other end of your text wanting to know more. Why is the devil smiling? What kind of trouble does this little guy want to get into? Is it sex? I bet it’s sex…

Fire Emoji

No better way to let someone know they’re hot than to send them a picture of literal flames. The fire emoji is versatile, subtle, and can be used to indicate you think the fuckboy you just met at the bar is muy caliente, or can be used for emphasis when you roast him after he inevitably wrongs you.

The Red Woman

She’s dancing. She’s independent. She’s wearing a red maxi dress. She’s the modern woman. She’s everything the object of your affection wants in a woman. When sending a flirty text, make sure to include this woman as a symbol for yourself. You want to be associated with her in his mind. TBH, you want to be associated with her in life.

The Flying Money

Use this money to convey to any potential hookups a very simple message: “I am not a gold digger. In fact, I have so much money my cash is sprouting wings and flying around and I don’t even care. So do you wanna hook up or…?” All that and more is conveyed with this emoji. Using it makes you look like Rihanna (idk if Rihanna actually uses this emoji but I bet she does).

THE WORST

The Winking Tongue Man

Oh no. No thank you. Steer clear of this man. Just imagine, for a moment, someone making this face at you in real life. One eye open wide as possible, the other closed, full length of the tongue exposed. It’s not a good look. Not only should you not to respond to any flirty texts that contain this emoji, but anyone who uses it should be immediately blocked. You don’t need this kind of negative energy in your life.

The Poop

I’m sorry, but the poop emoji is over. It was over once everyone and their mom started using it, and it was wayyyy over when my 6-year-old cousin got a pillow version of it for Christmas. All this emoji conveys is that you are unoriginal and stuck in a world that was like, seven IOS updates ago. You wouldn’t go back to using an iPhone 4, so don’t use this emoji. It’s dead. RIP.

Horrible Clown

This emoji is new and terrible. Who tf wanted this clown emoji? We’re all out here begging for a selfie-taking emoji (how tf is there not a selfie-taking emoji??) and all we get is this nasty-ass clown. I’ve never seen anyone use this emoji, but if a potential mate ever sends this to you, call the police. That person is a psychopath.

Monster Face

Similar to the clown, this little guy has no place in the bedroom. Apart from the fact that his nose kind of looks like a penis. His ears also kind of look like penises….and all of his teeth….

Yeah, okay, it’s gonna be a hard pass on this penis monster. No thank you.

Graph

This is a graph. Unless this is graphing a rise in horniness since the two of you started sexting, there’s really no useful application for this emoji in a flirting context. Actually, there is not much use for this emoji in any context. You’re telling me we can get a graph of nothing but can’t get a middle finger? Come on.

Jazz Hands

Jazz Hands Emoji

This may actually be a hugging emoji, but who TF knows. Honestly, the fact that we don’t even know WTF it is should be your first clue to avoid this thing. Like, what’s going on here? Why is this thing smiling so big its eyes are closed? Why are its hands outstretched—is it trying to hug you, do jazz hands, give you a high-ten…? Furthermore, why doesn’t it have arms? I honestly cannot think of a single circumstance that would warrant the use of this emoji. Fuck a hug—this emoji says “I want to molest you.” I’m seriously questioning Apple over the fact that someone deemed this creeper necessary and it took like, six updates and four online petitions to get a damn taco.

HONORABLE MENTION:

The Peach

Much like the eggplant, the peach looks like a butt. A big juicy butt. If you want to send, or receive, pics of a big juicy butt, or to convey that you are currently in possession of a big juicy butt, this is the emoji for you. If you’re trying to suggest you and your boo leave the bar and go eat a peach, maybe just use a different emoji because this one looks like a big juicy butt.

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.