The 7 Best Things About Having An Almost Boyfriend

By Blackout Betch

People need to fucking chill. Everyone’s favorite recent activity is to sit around and complain about our generation’s dating culture. If one more relative asks why I don’t have a boyfriend and gives me the look of pity I’ll no longer be able to hold back from asking her why she hasn’t joined Weight Watchers yet.

The most annoying part of this all is that it’s no longer just the old grandmas and aunts talking about this shit, but it’s our friends too. Everyone is having such a hard time seeing the bright side of this arrangement that those who are smart enough to form actually enjoy.

For those who struggle with almost boyfriends, this article isn’t for you so don’t start crying about how your most recent SAB is confusing the shit out of you. He’s probably not being confusing at all- you’re just delusional.

The betches out there who are just too busy and really don’t give enough of a shit to be in a relationship are the ones who have seen all the benefits that an almost boyfriend can bring. They don’t believe in “the grass is greener on the other side” because the grass is always green in their lives.

Your mom may say “friends with benefits” with disgust, but since when are these benefits a bad thing?




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