July 23, 2014
Let’s be real, sometimes in college shit just happens. You get too drunk at the local bar and wake up in the bed of a frat bro who you met the night before. He’s hot, whatever, give yourself a mental high five, and wait… he looks just like the kid who lived with your old hook up. Then you turn to your right and… BAM. There’s your there he is. A million questions run through your head. Did he hear us last night? Did he SEE me last night? And why the fuck is that girl in your psychology class naked next to him?
Betch, you’ve committed the unthinkable: hooking up with your ex-hookup’s roommate. And he is about to wake up and discover that you slept over with his much hotter roommate. Time to figure out what to do, and fast.
Nobody in the room is awake yet, and when they do wake up, if you’re still there you want to be fully dressed. Sometimes clothes can hide in strange places so you’ve got to get up and get moving. But quietly, duh. Look for the shirt and pants first, they tend to be the easiest to find and the best for covering up your faux pas. Especially if you have to make a quick exit and walk of shame home.
You also are NOT trying to lose your Gucci heels, so you should probably find those too. And your purse… which probably contains your phone (ie. your Uber calling device), and your wallet. So yea, find those items ASAP.
Besides just being fucking creepy, it’s probably not a good idea. Who wants to see the girl you’ve been replaced by, she’s probably uglier anyway. And it doesn’t matter because you’ve just hooked up with his roommate, so you basically have a monopoly over the room, let’s be real.
Who knows when your ex-hookup will wake up, and you do not want to be around to stay and find out. If you’re lucky enough he’ll never even know you were over there to begin with, but its better if he does for him to find out from his roommate. You don’t want to be there if any shit goes down, especially if your hookup ended on awkward terms. Run away, betch, run far far away.
Yea we all like late night booty calls every now and then, but now is the time to steer clear from that room. Like way, way clear. Do you want to be known as the girl they pass around from time to time? No betch, you are a strong independent woman. Find a new man for the time being. There are many fish in the sea.
That being said you just happened to hook up with two guys who share the same underwear drawer… so maybe not.