January 17, 2014
She’s a narcissistic actress bitch who also happens to be a witch…or in other words this week’s Betch of the Week. American Horror Story: Coven’s Madison Montgomery is not only played by Emma Roberts but she’s also the craziest wetch on the show. She’s unapologetically egocentric, commands every room she walks into, and will happily throw the potential next Supreme into a grave alive. I mean, talk about the ultimate BSCW.
The first time we meet her she was being raped at a frat party. Not betchy. So what does she do to those frat boys who did it to her? Flips over their bus and kills them all of course! BETCHY. (legal side note: we do not condone murder of any sort). Her whiny sidekick who’s played by the might-as-well-be twin sister of that bitch from The Departed falls in LOVEEE at the frat party. Standard. So what does our betch of the week do? Well besides accidentally murder him on the bus, she puts him back together and brings him back to life! (With the help of a hippie). How sweet.
Madison is always seeking some form of new entertainment because, like most betches, she’s consistently #137 bored. So once sidekick's lover, aka Emma's fiancé in real life, is reborn she suggests they have a threesome. Yay.
Even when shit goes sour for Madison, like that time Fiona casually slit her throat and killed her, she came back to life healthier than before and was further convinced she was the next Supreme. Personally, I don’t think she’s the next Supreme, I think it’s lame ass Zoe but it’s fun to watch her sabotage / bury-people-alive her way to the top.
Here are some of Madison’s betchiest quotes:
Madison: I am a millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us the Global Generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it's because we're the first generation where a kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it's because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering.
Madison: It's hilarious to listen to you virgins get all hot and bothered.
Nan: I'm not a virgin. I'm not! I get it on all the time. And guys find me hot.
Madison: Look at you. Who'd have thought we'd have so much in common?
Fiona: You didn't have a good relationship with your mother?
Madison: The last time I saw her, she snorted half my coke and then let the cops bust me for it. She's a selfish bitch.
Nan: Why can’t I be the next Supreme?
Madison: Because you have no style and your pits smell like fish sticks.
Madison: You wanna be my slave tonight?
Archie: What's in it for me?
Madison: Are you stupid? Slaves get nothing. Now why don't you get me another drink.